Four years ago this fall, I opened The Uncommon Heart from a 750 square foot apartment downtown. I was still carrying a full caseload at the VA while building a practice on the side. When it became clear I needed a place to see clients in person, I rented an office by the hour, two days a week, a few blocks from home.
Leaving the VA was one of the hardest decisions of my life. It was my dream job. I spent a decade in school and in the field working toward it. We served combat veterans, Gold Star families, and survivors of military sexual trauma. I gave everything I had every day and took on more than I should have. So many people needed help that boundaries felt impossible.
I have more perspective now, and I take more accountability for my part in why it wasn’t working. My strategy in life had been to give without expecting anything in return or gauging the cost on myself or in my relationships. I learned that selflessness is the other side of the same coin as selfishness. It left me out of my own life. It’s the same thing we help clients see every day.
Building a community
My first reaction to all that overgiving was to become a lone wolf. The thing that has brought me the most joy since then is building a whole community that gives in healthier ways.
The downtown office served us for a season. Then something shifted. Relationships and businesses are like that. I had to trust my intuition that it was time to move on. There was grief and fear in that decision. I’ve learned those are never reasons to stay somewhere that isn’t serving us.
The growth started almost by accident. A friend at the VA worked with an intern who wanted to pursue her clinical license. Esther joined us, and she changed how I saw what we were building. She helped me see we were solving two problems. Our community needs care that gets to the root of trauma. And young clinicians needed a healthy place to learn the craft from someone who would not exploit them. Some days I think of The Uncommon Heart as a place for therapists to grow as much as a mental health clinic. Esther showed me that was possible.
Our space at Office Club Pointe let us grow into a part of the north side that needs care, without taking on more risk than we could carry. Today we are a team of eight, and we’ve become a place Colorado Springs turns to for healing trauma and improving relationships. Finding The Uncommon Heart a new and permanent home is one of our most urgent priorities.
What growing has taught us
The lessons of growing have been simple and humbling. Who we bring on board and the culture we protect is the most important thing we do. And alignment matters. I’ve worked with wonderful people and learned that when we aren’t transparent about our wants and needs, no amount of care and respect can close that gap. That is as true in our own lives and relationships as it is on a team or with clients.
I also had to let go of comparison. Early on I took pride in saying we were the opposite of where I came from. I see the error in that now. There is value in every organization. We don’t define ourselves against anyone. We accept that we may not be a fit for everyone. We lead with our values, and I believe that shows up in the room between our therapists and our clients. That vulnerability and authentic connection is what makes this place different.
I used to say the deepest honor of this work was walking with someone through the hardest seasons of their life. I still believe that. Now I also get to watch our therapists do it and see the impact of that healing in our community. I will be forever grateful for that.
This next year is about strengthening our foundation. Better processes so clients feel cared for from the first call. Putting our values into action. More time connecting as a team. It also means scaling back my own client work. That has taken me over a year to accept. I’ve moved through a lot of denial and bargaining, because I love this work. But I can’t do it all, and holding on now would be its own kind of selfishness.
This is not a business story. It’s not a story about growth. It’s a story about what happens when we stay close to our values and put relationships first. The growth takes care of itself.
Thank you for being part of this with us.
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